Beating # 17

In honor of New Years................................................This will be a messy one!!!!!!!!

Your so cute I'd like to dress you up like Dick Clark, take you to Time Square where I will put you onto the giant ball. Once the clock strikes midnight, I will watch as the ball drops, and you fight to keep yourself on. To your disadvantage, once the ball hits the bottom, it will explode. However , I have armed you with metallic kazoos and paper blow outs so please make the best of the ride down.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Beating # 16

I know most of you are off today, however the last of the "Holiday Beating Series" we be viewable when you return. Hope every has a holiday filled with peace and love!!!!!!!!

Your so cute Id like to dress you in a Santa Suit and force feed you a few hundred chocolate chip cookies laced with poison. Followed by repeditively punching you in your aching stomach for not bringing me the Gucci Pelham Shoulder bag with double braided straps that I asked you for, take you up onto my roof where I will stuff your fat ass down the chimney. Don't worry, I will make sure the fire is nice and hot so you stay extra warm and cozy.

Sorry guys, thats all I got for today! Im not feeling so great!

ENJOY!

Beating # 15

Another beating with a holiday theme.........now we know how Rudolph feels!

Your so cute I'd like to attach antlers to your head using a 36 volt heavy duty hammer drill, punch you in the nose until its red, bright and shiny, force you to get naked and drag a sleigh full of presents and one white haired fat guy through the snowy mountains in Colorado. Oh, and don't forget, the fat guy is gonna whip your ass until your body resembles a map of the United States.

Cold and bloody, that can't be fun..............................

Beating # 14

In honor of our most joyous holiday season, the next few beatings will have a similar "theme" if you will.

After receiving my first few Christmas cards, I have concluded the following:

Your so cute I'd like to wrap you up in Christmas lights (large bulbs if you will), dangle you from the roof of your house directly under enormously large icicles, hoping that they fall on you piercing your flesh. If that doesn't get ya, we can always wait to see if you freeze to death.

HO.........HO.........mother F'n HO!

Beating #13

I have been on a beating vacation for the last few weeks. My mind has not been working as swiftly as it use to.

So without further dudes, (and I hope you get that joke, please Scott don't send me an email telling me I have the saying incorrect then rant for 3 pages on its literal meaning and how it was used back in 1880 when they were slaughtering cows or something......

I present beating # 13.

Your so cute I'd like to take you to the Zoo, and while you are innocently staring in amazement at the tigers, strap a slab of beef to your back, and give you one swift kick in the ass, which sends you over the saftey railings. I will then laugh as the tigers take turns ripping off your limbs.


AHHH its good to be back!