You down with MPP?

The time has finally come my friends. I have been trying to beat the shit out of Maria ever since I met her that Saturday night at The Palace. I walk in the door to see this skinny biach sitting on a high stool with a pencil skirt and Pashmina Shawl. I looked at my friend Jo-Ann and said "wow, check out the shawl...this is gonna be good."

Boy was I wrong. Whoever thought that Maria and I would become such great friends, and best friends for that matter. I cannot say I feel as close to anyone in this entire world as I do to her. I can tell her anything and by god she WILL give me her honest opinion. I can safely say that I truly could not live without this girl.

So, as she leaves me at THP to become one of her husbands "groupies" I now shall take out all my aggressions on her. Years of biting my toungue are about to spill on these pages like beer being spilt at a toga party. I hope this post will live up to everyone's expectations!

Maria, you're so cute I would like to first take a slab of Argentine beef and smack you in the face with it. As you are home preparing for your uppity N.A.C.E meeting with all your uppity new friends, I will hide in the backseat of your car. During the meeting, I will sneak in and drop roofies in your fluffy Martini and wait till you become drowsy. I will steal Brian's Camera and drag you out of there by the camera strap and snap pictures of you in the bathroom with a small mirror and a powdery substance lined up on it. Once those N.A.C.E folks get a hold of that, YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!

Hi-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!