The Cyclist

I think everyone feels the same way about "The Cyclist". Somehow these spandex wearing Lance Armstrong lovers muster up the energy to adorn those heinous outfits and venture out onto main roads during rush hour. What are you, some kind of kamikaze? I especially love it when they try to race a motor vehicle to a light, or when they stick out their arm disguising it as a turn signal. Listen folks, we don't live in Bedrock. No matter how hard you pedal, you will not beat a car! And lastly, stay to the fucking right side of the road will you! next time I'm gonna hit you mother fuckers.

Your so cute I'd like to crazy glue you ass to your bike seat, and tie your arms around your back. Ill drop you off at the top of a steep rolling hill in San Francisco and let em rip! Your demise will surely consist of either getting T-boned by a car at a dangerous intersection, or if your bike steers off course, you will hopefully go face first into a brick building. Either way, I will piss in your wounds when your ride is over, and I will shove a stop sign pole up your ass. Put your arm out now bitch!

Catalina Francesca

Wow, it is good to be back! I return to all of you as a new mom however I now have a stomach that looks like a road map and one more chin. What better way to start off another season of beatings with an introduction of the newest member of our family! Miss Catalina Francesca Caicedo!

I promise next week I will beat the hell out of someone, however I need to ease back into this people.......Here is the little buttercup at her Christening last week. She was such a good girl dispite the fact that she was forced to wear that bonnet, had holy water dumped on her head, was passed around like a bread basket and kissed by every old lady in the joint. Talk about a bum deal!