The Tourist

This beating was inspired by my recent trip to Disney World.

From the non-english speaking people practically bowing at Mickey's feet, to the fatties in the motorized scooters I have recently realized I hate crowds. When did I become so bitter? I was fucking miserable at the Animan Kingdom. And at SeaWorld I almost beat up some Spanish girl who elbowed myself and my 5 month old child in order touch a dolphin. What, no fucking dolphins in Guatamala? Did I mention she was doing this while YELLING in my ear? with my best Spanish accent "JUAN, COME LOOK, HE LIKE ME HE LIKE ME.

How can one be so annoyed in Disney World? It's DISNEY WORLD FOR GOD SAKES........well, I will tell you how. Today I beat up a tourist at Seaworld.

Your so cute I'd like to first rip the camera from your neck and smash you over the head with it. After visiting the BUSH center for all the free beer we can drink, I will strap you to a seat on the "Kraken" and let the coaster run over and over again until you practically puke your stomach out of your mouth. A trip to SeaWorld is not complete without a visit to see Shamu, so off to the tank we go! I will strap a seal to your back and dump you in the tank (naked of course. not that it really matters its just more humiliating that way). Hopefully shamu will toss you around like Paul Pierce tosses a basketball and if we are lucky he will be hungry enough to eat you.

Good girl Shamu...........................Good Girl