The J-Walker

We all know about the J-Walker. They are everywhere! Scattering on the busy streets of Boston like little ants running for that cracker crumb on the sidewalk. They are annoying, and must be stopped!

First, I will find a large truck with a plow on it. I will then drive down the busy streets of Boston taking care not to stop for anyone who jumps in my path. I will stop at the last victim, and drag him to the side of the road where I will take of his sneakers and use the laces to tie his limp body to the stop sign. I will then repeatedly punch him in the face, until he resembles the red hexagon shaped apparatus that he is strapped to. Then I will put on a sexy cop uniform and give him a ticket.

That will be the last J-Walker you ever see in my town!